Discussing Breast Cancer

Each year on Election Day, my kids’ elementary school PTA has a skating party at a local ice rink. Year after year we go; my kids, my dad and myself. My dad loves skating. And I’ve loved watching my dad skate with my boys. He’s been amazing, each year, holding their hands, trying to teach them how to balance and move forward without wiping out. I’ve not even had to get on the ice; he’s had it all under control.

But this year my dad didn’t want to skate – I’m not sure if the cold he’s had is still bothering him or if he felt weak in the knees – frankly, I don’t want to think too much about his reasons why (he’s not getting any younger, God bless him). He’d come, and he’d bring my niece along as well, but he wasn’t skating this year.

You know that meant one thing was for sure: I was going to have to get out there on the ice with my boys, relocated abdominal muscles and all thanks to that TRAM flap. They were just too young and inexperienced to get out there on their own. They needed their mommy.

Oh, I was so nervous. I hadn’t skated since I was a kid. I desperately wanted to help my boys but I wasn’t sure I’d be much good. But I was out there with them, lap after lap, holding their hands and supporting their arms and coaching them each glide of the way.

Once my son took me down with him. He fell gracefully and I fell with a boom right on my face (I kept my chin up; my knees took the brunt of the fall). Another time one of his classmates took me down after sliding right into the back of my knees – that boom was right on my ass. My spine is still hurting from that one.

Both times I went down I needed help getting up. Without those abdominal muscles, man, certain activities are much more challenging than you can imagine. It takes a whole lot of reprogramming to get my side muscles to compensate for their missing counterparts.

But I did it and man, I just felt so … alive. And so much like a mother. The kind of mother I want to be. Helping my kids achieve their milestones. Coaching them through difficult times. Holding their hands when they are uncertain. Seeing them conquer their fears.

At the end of our time on the ice, we all went for pizza. My dad looked at me at one point and said, “You’re a good skater, you know? You did good today.”

I know he was thinking of my physical accomplishment. But for me, it was about a whole lot more than that.

Yeah, I did good today.

cancer, breast cancer, ice skating