My Husband’s Point of View
I just realized I’ve left you all hanging since I last wrote about my own treatment … on June 25th I shared a little about my post op experience. I was about to share a story about my children visiting me in the hospital and that’s when I stopped writing.
I re-read that post this morning then remembered why I never moved forward Here’s why:
I thought I’d give my husband, Tim, a chance to speak for himself, to describe those hours in the waiting room, those NINE hours in the waiting room, before delving into my children’s’ experience. I didn’t realize that the waiting was so difficult for Tim that he’d not get too much down on paper.
Here’s what I can share with you today:
“When Karen asked me if I could do a ‘guest post’ on my perspective of her surgery, I was taken aback. Not because I don’t like to blog but because she’s asking me to process the most difficult time in my life, the most stressful day I have ever had and one that I don’t like to dwell upon.
I think the main reason I was able to get through the day was because people kept coming up to me and telling me what to do. The medical students told me when I had to leave her side. They handed me off to the waiting room where the guy at the desk instructed me to get a cup of coffee and watch some TV; someone told me where to go for food at lunchtime. I had to get through that day mechanically. If no one gave me instructions or told me where to go and what to do I might have spent the entire time watching the second hand on my watch.
In between the logistics of my day I kept reviewing the plan we had been given by each doctor. First up was Dr. Lannin. His job was to remove the cancer, make sure the evil cells didn’t spread anywhere, and prepare things for Dr. Narayan to come and put my wife back together … “
And that’s where he stopped. Maybe he got super busy at work. Maybe he couldn’t write anymore. Someday, maybe, Tim will share some more.
I think it is important to note that that waiting room is a frightening place loaded with uncertainty and anxiety. Tim had thought he didn’t need anyone with him, he said he’d be fine handling it alone. My parents were with my children (a main priority, of course), so they couldn’t join him.
But my best friend Tanya dropped everything to join him for the day. She kept him sane. She kept him fed. She kept him from feeling horribly alone. I will never be able to thank her enough for that. She left work and her own children to figuratively hold my husband’s hand (maybe literally, too, I don’t know, I wasn’t there).
Here’s my advice for the day: Don’t ever let someone you love sit in a waiting room by themselves, even if they say and think they can handle it.
There. Said.
Next week, I will share with some more about that hospital stay of mine. The visit from my kids. The recovery period overall. And then I’ll share what happened next in my life to rock our worlds.
I am going on vacation today until August 5th, so the posts will be intermittent again. I apologize. Thanks for reading loyally all the same.
July 28th, 2007 at 11:39 am
Waiting rooms are the worst. I had to wait while my grandmother was having surgery, they were putting burr holes in her skull, and that was the longest hour and a half of my life. You cant think about anything except whats going on in a room you cant see into. My whole family was there, we filled a whole waiting room, and without someone to talk to I would have gone crazy. NEVER LET SOMEONE WAIT ALONE… Its just cruel.
August 4th, 2007 at 8:43 am
During my surgury, Jim was alone and the surgury that was suppose to take 2 hours took 4 and no one went out to let him know what was going on. He finally went up to the receiptionist, got a little heated and she called the security guard who finally heard his story and got him the information about what was going on with me.
So, no, I would never leave someone in the waiting room alone again.
August 16th, 2007 at 9:51 am
Kate, I’m glad you had support while waiting out your grandmother’s surgery. Thank you for sharing that facet of the situation — that you can’t stop thinking about what is going on in a room you can’t see into — it is a tremendously helpful insight.
Lynn, I hate that Jim was alone. He’s not the only man waiting to get heated under those circumstances, either. My heart goes out to these guys.