Five Mantras for Survivors
It’s especially important to get through the holidays without added stress when you’re a survivor. But sometimes things get in the way of that. Today, as I prepare for my Religious Education classes’ ‘birthday party for Jesus’ and my husband’s corporate Christmas party, I feel I need a little perspective. I don’t want to yell at my kids, I don’t want to be too busy for them, I don’t want to get annoyed at incompetent cashiers and insensitive customers. I want to survive the holidays with my spirit intack.
I’m guessing your days are as busy as mine are this time of year. And, I’m guessing you might a mantra or five to help you through, too. So here you go, five mantras for survivors:
1. Take a deep breathe. Say this mantra over and over again as you shop, clean or wrap … “just keep breathing, just keep breathing” (yes, think Dory from Finding Nemo). I’m talking good, sound, deep breathing. Deep breathing has been proved to reduce tension and increase relaxation. So breathe. Literally, breathe your way through your errands and chores and you’ll find that few deep breaths does work wonders to reframe the picture you have in your mind about how it should be going and allows you to stay calm in the moments you actually face.
2. Let go of the past. Seriously, new traditions happen all the time, so this is a good time to see what the new joys the season will bring you instead of trying to recreate the past. Point in case: I used to bake dozens of Christmas cookies with my mother and I thought it was important to recreate that exact experience with my kids … but you know what, they lose interest rather quickly at their ages. Instead, we started making these chocolate pretzel treats — the entire family was helping last night when out of the blue my oldest said, ‘this has become a Lynch family tradition!’ and I nearly cried.
3. Focus on the meaning of the holiday. What are you focused on this Christmas? As I mentioned, today I’m throwing a birthday party for Jesus for my religious ed classes. Marking the anniversary of the birth of Christ is the real reason this holiday exists, after all. So we’ve baked a cake and we’ll sing a song and do a craft — it’s a party and the kids are jazzed. We even prepared lists of ‘gifts for Jesus’ — the kids are truly grasping that the best gifts aren’t those that are wrapped at all. Anyway, my religious side is shining through with many of these posts these days because that’s who I am, but for those of you who aren’t religious … think about the meaning of this holiday and translate that into what that means for you. Why do you celebrate Christmas specifically? I feel bad that I missed discussing Hanukkah, but that holiday also has special meaning. Kwanzaa? Let me know what you ponder.
4. I’m worth the time I take for myself. Today I’m making a special effort to get my nails done and don a pretty dress. The other day I made sure I left plenty of time to style my hair instead of just pulling it back in the ponytail I usually head out with. The better I look when I’m schlepping about the better I feel, that’s a fact, but so many days I find it easier to pull on the comfy clothes and head out the door in a rush. Make time for that morning walk, the treadmill, the gym if exercise if your thing. Sit down to read for an hour or watch your favorite show. You’ll be less cranky if your self doesn’t feel deprived.
5. Choose fun. Time flies whether you are having fun or not. Anything you do can be done with a better attitude. So sing the Christmas Carols (even a good Jewish friend of mine went caroling with her daughter’s brownie troop — enjoying the music, laughing at their token Dreidel song, celebrating friendship and humanity and having fun. It’s doable … whistle while you work is a great concept but it doesn’t have to be whistling. Play the music, tell stories to your kids, read books outloud and do different voices or make sound effects. Jazz up your days with fun because if you’re not enjoying yourself, enjoying your life … well, what’s the fun in that?
breast cancer, cancer, mantras, survivors
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