Double Mastectomy Morning
My parents showed up at the house early so we didn’t have to wake the kids. All three were still asleep in their beds as my husband and I got ourselves ready. I took a shower, the last one I’d take for weeks. I didn’t put on jewelry or make up but I did put on my most comfortable sweats.
I explained to my mom that my oldest needed a snack and a drink and lunch and a drink and my middle child needed a snack and a drink for preschool. I explained that I usually let them choose what they wanted for breakfast; easy on the syrup if they chose waffles, no chocolate milk if they chose a kids cereal.
I explained to my dad the drop off and pick up procedures at the elementary school and the preschool.
I explained my youngest child’s nap time schedule and strategy.
And I cried. I didn’t want to walk out the door. I knew I’d be in the hospital for days, not because of the double mastectomy but because of the reconstruction. The TRAM flap was a huge surgery that warranted a possible five day hospital stay.
I was going to miss my babies. I knew they were going to miss me.
I left a white index card on each child’s pillow with a few easy to read words to express how I love them (so much) and how I’d miss them (so much). I signed it with a lipstick kiss. Long lasting color.
That lipstick is still on those cards still in their dresser drawers one year later.
I couldn’t have coffee so my head started to hurt as much as my heart as my husband pulled out of the driveway and began the half hour drive to Yale.
Breast Cancer, Double Mastectomy, Surgery, Reconstruction
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June 1st, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Karen,
I found your blog from WAHM. My username is huggy4ever on WAHM. I’m sorry to hear about your cancer. I hope that you have a full recovery soon. If you need anything at all please let me know.
Keep up the excellent work! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
- Michelle Knudson, Freelance Writer
http://www.michelleknudson.com
June 1st, 2007 at 5:13 pm
I know this is silly, but I am SUCH a baby about not having coffee in the morning:) Every time I had surgery (7 times in 14 months) I complained about having to go without my morning coffee.
Every time that I had outpatient surgery we stopped at Starbucks on the way home.
June 1st, 2007 at 8:43 pm
Hi Karen,
As I read your post, I could feel what you must have been feeling, and tears came to my eyes. You have a wonderful way of expressing the emotion of the ordeal, and I am glad I found your blog. I will be a regular reader, and I will keep you in my prayers. Writing can help heal.
Jean