Discussing Breast Cancer

This wasn’t a breast cancer book club selection but it is a seasonal story that I recently read that I want to share with you all. It’s one for the children. As you may know, I have three little munchkins who are about to celebrate a Christmas that hasn’t been tainted by cancer for the first time in four years. This year, my kids aren’t worrying that their mommy is sick, recovering from surgery, fatigued from radiation therapy … this year my kids are joyful and hopeful and I am so, so blessed.

Next year might be different — as cancer survivors (or women with a family history of breast cancer) we always think that, don’t we? Next year might be different.

All the more reason to hold onto this year and focus on what matters. For me that’s family, faith and giving.

In October 2007 I was blessed to receive a book that encompasses all of those for me: The Legend of St. Nicholas: A Story of Christmas Giving. It’s written by Dandi Daley Mackall and illustrated by Guy Porfirio.

For anyone looking to connect Santa Claus with the birth of Christ and the spirit of giving … here’s your solution. The book’s central character is a modern day boy named Nick. Nick it out shopping with his Dad, wishing he could buy a new CD with his money rather than gifts for his brothers. Then he overhears a ’store Santa’ telling the story of St. Nicholas — a wealthy young boy who used his fortune to buy gifts for others and found tremendous pleasure in doing so.

“Overcome with joy, Nicholas understood his mission in life. This is how he would celebrate Christmas from now on.”

That one line helped me to explain to my children why St. Nicholas, or Santa Claus, was, by the grace of God, allowed to live forever serving the Lord.

It’s a priceless addition to my holiday library. Great if you are parenting with religion — here’s a link to a blog dedicated to just that. And, here’s the Amazon.com link for The Legend of St. Nicholas if you want to order it online!

Can’t figure out what to get that special survivor in your life? Think out of the box — the greatest gifts will let her know you think about this illness that has become a part of her life

How about a mammogram? Gift wrap an appointment card and put it in with a gift card bag. She’ll appreciate knowing that you’re taking your health seriously because of her.

What about genetic testing? A mother can do this for her daughter, a daughter can do this for her sisters, a husband can do this for his wife and kids (yes, even men should consider this test if breast cancer runs in their family).

Coupons to cut? I’m sure you crafty guys and gals could make a coupon book offering up rides to/from appointments, babysitting when she wants to drive herself, company when she doesn’t want to be alone. Use your scrapbooking/craft supplies and make it personal and pointed.

Of course, you can always hit up the Pink Ribbon shop or Presents for Purpose. Nothing like a pink ribbon somethin’ under the tree!

breast cancer, cancer, Christmas, gifts, survivor

I spent a considerable part of my weekend addressing Christmas cards to my friends and family and holiday card to my editors and professional colleagues. But I’m psyched; I wrote personal notes on each this year and hand wrote each address. I feel satisfied because I truly thought about each recipient as I prepared their card and that’s the way it should be, right?

Don’t stress; it’s not too late to wish all your friends and family a happy holiday. But when you’re out there shopping, consider a card that donates to the cause or raises awareness. I should have talked about this before I started talking about 2008 calendars, but honestly, I hadn’t done my own cards yet and was already looking at the New Year with anticipation.

So … keep this in mind: if you have to order online at this point, you’ll pay through the nose for shipping. But it might be worth it … consider the hope and joy you’ll bring someone this year.

My favorite cards are these specialty note cards by Mer. There are also some ‘pink ribbon’ beauties at the
Komen Marketplace. Finally, proceeds from these ‘Heartfelt Greetings’ benefit the Cancer Research Foundation.

Good luck!

Haven’t you noticed calendars are all over the stores right now? This is the time to buy one, to start marking your plans down, to start planning vacations … I’m not waiting until January to get my calendar because I’ll feel behind the eight ball and I need to get ahead of it now!

Not that I’m wishing the rest of the year away. 2007 has been a surgery free year for my family, so I’ve enjoyed almost every minute of it. But I am focused on 2008. Come July I’ll mark five years of survivorship — five years since I was first diagnosed with cancer.

I want to mark that milestone on my calendar. Of course, it won’t be my ‘five years of being cancer free’ anniversary, I had to reset the clock on that with my second diagnosis. But it’ll be in interesting year of reflection and direction for me, I’m sure.

So … I need a cool calendar to ring in the new year and while I was looking, I thought, you guys might need one, too.

How ’bout a pin up calendar featuring some gorgeous survivor babes? Proceeds go to Making Strides, an event near and dear to my heart. I wish I had the gumption to do this. Hey, any local photographers want to work with me on one for 2009? I’d love to be Ms. September!!! (That’s Geri Bell, Ms. October 2008, by the way, with some pink ribbon cupcakes - yum! Here’s a link to her story.)

Alright, alright … how ’bout one you won’t worry your husband will swoon over: an inspirational calendar available online at Zazzle’s, created by a breast cancer survivor and artist. Those botanical shots are gorgeous!

Or one specifically for mothers?
“The Hope & Inspiration: Surviving Mothers of Breast Cancer 2008 calendar is the fifth of its kind by renowned Houston photographer Alisa Murray. Featuring photos and advice from twelve Houston-area breast cancer survivors who are also moms, this calendar is a tribute to survival and mothers’ love.”

Tell your secret (and not so secret) Santa’s to get online today!

My ten year wedding anniversary is today. Ten years ago my husband and I said our vows and pledged to be there for each other ‘in sickness and in health.’

Who would have imagined that ‘in sickness’ part would have turned out to be so much more than the flu.

My husband, God bless him, loves me so much. I think he fell in love with me at first sight. Here’s the story:

I was sitting at a table at the Black Duck Cafe in Westport, CT on a night they had karaoke — I loved going to karaoke. A young man came up to me and told me he had just paged a buddy of his so the pay phone next to my table was about to ring; then he asked me to get him from his table when it did. The phone rang. I answered then went to get the young man at his table. And sitting at that table was another young man, the man who is now my husband, and he caught my eye.

“You’re cute,” I said with a smile. “Young … but cute.” That started a courtship that I was reluctant to begin — to say the least. But he was persistent and I was swayed and somewhere along the way I became committed.

But I had him at “you’re cute.”

Several years (and quite a few ups and downs) later, we exchanged vows.

Today, my husband and I are celebrating the fact that we joined our lives in marriage ten years ago. Ten years, three kids, two bouts of cancer and one house later, we’re still committed. That is such a great, great feeling. For me, knowing my husband didn’t knowingly sign up for the role of caregiver but rose to that challenge so well means everything to me.

Thankfully, and by the grace of God, today is an ‘in health’ day and we are going to celebrate.

And you’re the caregiver. And that means so much falls on you. It’s true, you’re going to be the one bearing the brunt of the stress this year. Here’s a few pointers on what you need to do, for the survivor in your life and yourself, to get through the holidays without wishing them over!

What you need to do for her:

Grant her holiday wishes — see what traditions mean the world to her and make them happen. If that means taking her to pick out the perfect tree, then get out that day to do just that. If lights on the trees outside mean warm memories for her, get them out there. Find out what warms her heart the most and do your best to make sure that warmth permeates her soul.

Take on the givens — organize the shopping list, sit with her and some catalogs and get gift ideas then shop (!); buy the stamps, address the cards then get them mailed; pack up the packages to be shipped (and get them shipped); take the kids for a photo with Santa, take the kids shopping … just take the kids!

Limit the visits — be the heavy with a strong lead out the door to keep your visits to other people’s houses short; suggest she go upstairs and rest when your visitors are lingering too long (hopefully they’ll get the hint); use the cancer card to back out of parties you really don’t want to attend and to stop people from dropping in.

Spend quality time with her — make time to be with her, sitting with her in front of a fire, talking with her over a cup of cocoa, watching a holiday movie together — anything so she gets attention and doesn’t feel alone.

Talk to her — converse about the people she loves and point out the positives … the positive moods, the positive reactions to gifts … notice them, share what you notice, and ask her what she notices, too. Ask what is going well, what she wishes was different (knowing she’ll wish she didn’t have cancer, push the envelope to see what else she wishes was different). Talk to her — about holiday music or holiday movies, about people and animals, about anything. Just stay connected to her verbally this holiday season.

What you need to do for yourself:

Schedule personal time — head to the movies with a friend, stop at a bar for a drink, read the paper at Starbucks with a Gingerbread Latte … anything that will take your mind off cancer for at least an hour.

Exercise — it’ll keep you energized to get through your to do list and help you feel at the top of your game.

Get a good night’s sleep — you need to sleep well at night so you can go, go, go during the day. Figure out how many hours you need to function at your best and give yourself a bedtime. Then stick to it.

Eat well — in fact, eat better than you ever have. Think of food as fuel and go for premium unleaded.

Enjoy the perks — the woman you are caring for will appreciate what you are doing to make the holidays special more than you can imagine, the children who are affected will have holiday memories that aren’t tainted by cancer and the God of all things will bless you with peace, love and joy.

cancer, breast cancer, health, wellness, survivor, caregiver

Yesterday’s post is all about surviving the holidays when you’re in the midst of cancer treatment. Today I’m talking about enjoying them when you’ve survived …

Of course I want to tell you to enjoy the moments of your holiday season. I have the feeling that goes without saying, though, doesn’t it? Survivors feel so damn happy to be alive that they typically seize all the moments of their days; the holidays are no exception.

I do want to tell you what’s changed for me, in addition to the whole ‘carpe diem’ attitude that is. I just don’t get hung up on holiday “things” the way I used to. I don’t care if the outfits I wear are brand new (I’m not saying new isn’t nice, I just won’t put such an emphasis on that, ya know?). I don’t care if my Christmas cards aren’t the first received by my friends and family. I don’t care if the gift wrap I choose is coordinated and the tape isn’t perfectly straight. I don’t care if the lights on our house look a little cheesy. As long as I smile every day … and smile while I work … then I’m happy. Fulfilled.

As a survivor, I look at the big picture this time of year. I’m focused on the love and the joy and the peace and the goodwill of the season. Those things are all that matter to me.

Some of you might not be there yet and that’s okay. I understand that you’re in a new place and the holidays are just plain different. Let me share a story with you:

A woman I was friends with a while back was listening to me as I talked about living life as a survivor. I tried to explain that some days I almost forget I had cancer but I never actually forget. It’s always there, no matter what. She nodded and said, “it’s like you had to move into a house on the other side of the fence from the house you’d always lived in — one that looks exactly the same but isn’t the same at all because it’s the cancer house” and she was right. You’re all in my neighborhood now, too, aren’t you … in your new houses, too, looking over the fence at your old houses but knowing you can never live in those again.

We can’t go back. We can’t have the cancer-free thoughts that we had when we lived on the other side of the fence. But we can light our candles and drape the garlands and trim our trees and hang our wreaths and feel joy. A joy we’d never even imagined existed before.

The joy of being alive.

cancer, breast cancer, family, holidays, health, life, survivor

Whether you are in the midst of cancer treatment, in survivor mode or caring for someone with cancer, the holidays are going to happen. Cancer doesn’t wait until the holidays are over. Cancer happens when it happens.

But having cancer around doesn’t mean the holidays have to suck. Maybe things will be different for you this year. Maybe things will be different for your family. But that’s okay … different can still be wonderful. You just have to change the way you think about it.

That’s why I’m starting this three part series: to get you ready to enjoy a different holiday. Today I’m focusing on the person with cancer. Whether you were just diagnosed, recovering from surgery, going through radiation or chemotherapy … today that’s what we’re talking about. Tomorrow I’ll talk to those of you in survivor mode, the person with the physical cancer treatment behind them. Then Thursday, I’ll focus on the caregivers.

For your reference, I’m a two time survivor and just last December I had my post-Tram-flap hysterectomy while my mother endured her last two chemotherapy cycles. It was emotionally difficult to get our minds around the fact that our holidays would be tainted. We were both forced to consider our notion of what the holidays should be, what we felt we had to do versus what we wanted to do. I personally realized in that year what really mattered to me when it came to the holidays.

For example, I always spent a considerable amount of time baking holiday cookies. I was worried that things just wouldn’t be the same without them. What I realized after reflection was that I wanted the time shared with my kids baking cookies just like I’d had with my own mom growing up. It made me sad, because I couldn’t stand in my kitchen with them amidst seven layer bars, peanut butter blossoms and snickerdoodles. So when a friend of mine offered to come over and bake with my kids on my behalf, I took her up on that offer. She had a ball and so did my kids. And you know what, so did I, listening from the other room as she tried to explain to my two year old what not to do when baking cookies (like sneeze into your hand then pick up more batter, that kind of thing). She created a new memory for me that I cherish — and my kids? They had mounds of fun listening to holiday music and eating cookie dough and getting sticky licky.

What mattered was the actual experience I wanted my kids to have, not how the experience happened. I wanted to be a part of it, but I didn’t have to be central to it.

Remember, it is not up to you to create memories for your kids — they are doing memorable things all the time and making new memories of their own all the time. Letting them have good memories of their own, even if they are different from the ones you have from your own childhood, is okay.

Another point … I love a decorated home. But I don’t love a decorated home nearly as much as my mother-in-law does. So it made perfect sense for me to sit back and watch her to deck my halls for me when I was down and out. It didn’t matter if I’d done it myself; all that was important was the feeling we get when surrounded by festive beauty.

We all have opinions about what we think our holidays should be … what they should look like, how they should sound, what they should feel like. I urge you to reframe yours. Maybe you don’t need to cook the entire meal. Some grocery stores even have tasty pre-cooked foods you can pass off as your own by transferring to a pretty bowl. Isn’t the point to enjoy a meal together as a family? Or, maybe you don’t need to wrap every gift. A few strategically unwrapped gifts might actually thrill your kids. And really, do your children even notice the bows? Think about it.

And about that Christmas tree … artificial trees are really low maintenance. No dropped needles, no endless checking of the stand for water. They go up in a flash and by the way, Yankee Candle makes a really good Sparking Pine scent. If you always pick one out or cut one down, maybe make a memory picking out a special wreath that the whole family admires or sipping cocoa outside in the snow. It’ll be a new memory, but new is okay if it fits your energy level this year. Just a thought.

There are so many things you can take off your plate to make your holiday a little less fatiguing. Let people help you by shopping and baking and decorating. Let someone else do holiday crafts with your kids. Check your ego at the door (yes, you still have one, even if you think you don’t). It’s okay if you aren’t doing everything. It’s actually kind of liberating.

Cancer doesn’t wait until the holidays are over. But that doesn’t mean you should wish the days away faster.

cancer, breast cancer, holidays, shopping, baking, decorating

So I get this email from a friend today with the subject: The Game Is On! When I open the email it reads:

BE KIND. The Game is on!!! And you’re IT!

Describe ME in one word….just one single word. Send it to me and to me only. Next, send this message to all your friends and see how many strange and interesting things they say about you.

(more…)

When I was in college, nothing much mattered to us students other than classes, fraternity parties and dorm life (and that list is not necessarily in order of importance). But these days it is quite common to see and hear about college students doing their part to support a cause.

I’ve posted before that I’m enamored with the students at Fairfield University — especially after they hosted a Relay for Life as part of the American Cancer Society’s Colleges Against Cancer program.

Now, check this out. The University of Toronto women’s basketball, volleyball and hockey teams are hosting what they’re calling the ‘Varsity Blues Think Pink Weekend’ in support of the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation (CBCF). It’s the first one of (hopefully) many — and it is coming up this weekend.

According to a recent press release: “The Blues have pledged to raise a minimum of $10,000 for the CBCF.”

Here are two other important details:

• Limited edition Varsity Blues Think Pink t-shirts will be available in the Athletic Centre lobby from Nov. 27-29 and will be on sale at all three Think Pink Weekend games for a $10 minimum asking price. Note that says minimum.
• All proceeds from the sale of tickets, t-shirts and other event merchandise will go towards the CBCF - Ontario region.

This is just another reason for me to be proud of my Canadian roots (for those genealogists who want to know, my maiden name is Langevin — we’re a part of the 300+ year old Roberge family who began their Canadian tour on the Ile d’Orleans in Quebec).

Anyway, I’m proud of these girls. If you’re Canadian, and I know many of you are, do your part to CHEER PINK!!!!!

Wednesday, November 28th, is another Inspire! blog talk radio program — my co-host and I are interviewing Kim Dalzell again. She’s got four things she wants to cover:

1) Why we should NOT eat healthy for the holidays.
2) The newest cancer risk in food fortification.
3) The best kind of drink and getting real bang for your buck.
4) The power of the plant: A simple and cost effective way to add this basic that every breast cancer patient and survivor MUST have for her healing journey.

Should be interesting — to say the least. I hope you’ll tune in.

We interviewed Kim on October 31st and she shared several nutritional tips for breast cancer survivors – from drink green tea to eat more fish – and I really found her insight invaluable.

I don’t know about you, but I worry about what I ingest. Some days I get downright paranoid – are the foods I consume cancer-causing? Am I doing enough to make sure my kids never get cancer? Have I done enough to make sure I never get it again?

We’re trying to change our ways here in the Lynch household, but it isn’t easy. We’ve been slow to adopt some of the changes I know we should make. We’re buying more organic foods, choosing more whole foods … but are the baby steps we’ve taken enough to make a life-saving difference?

I guess this is a topic I’m meant to be exploring because it keeps coming up in my life.

So if you’re free at 1:00 ET tomorrow – Wednesday, November 28 – give Inspire! a listen.

cancer, breast cancer, nutrition, Inspire!, wellness, blog talk radio, Internet radio

Living in the city can increase your risk of developing breast cancer. YIKES! I’m so glad I live in the freakin’ suburbs! Now’s the time to buy a house in the country!

Seriously folks … researchers in the UK have discovered that women living (and working) in urban areas are significantly more susceptible to the disease than those living in countryside. The study shows that urban women have denser breasts (and previous research suggested women with denser breasts were four times more likely to develop cancer).

Here’s the BBC/News story, but if you don’t want to go to that page and you’re wondering what can you do with this information then here’s this:

The jury is still out on why the denser breasts on urbanites correlates to breast cancer incidence but they are considering a link between breast cancer incidence and:

• the stressful lives urbanites live
• the level of air pollution in urban environments, and/or
• the body size/weight of city women (city women are thinner, but perhaps too thin; breast density is inversely related to weight).

Like I said, from what I can tell, the jury is still out.

But Dr. Nicholas Perry at the London Breast Institute, lead researcher on the study, had this to say: “Women who live in urban areas are known to have lower attendance for breast-screening programs than women in outlying areas.” If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times — mammography can save your life!

So if you live in the city, do you really need to search the listings for a suburban home? Not necessarily. (Although I do believe the suburban life of a soccer mom is highly underrated.) But you do need to be more diligent about your BSE and mammography screenings.

cancer, breast cancer, mammography, London, breast density

WEEK TV, an Illinois-based NBC affiliate, has caught my attention with their Buddy Check 25 program. This program is the start of something great — reminding women to conduct their Breast Self Exam (BSE) every single month — an important facet of self-care and a tool for early detection. Participating in the Buddy Check 25 program is as easy as 1, 2 … that’s it, stop at 2. It’s that easy!

1. Choose a friend or relative to be your “Buddy.”
2. On the 25th of each month, check with your buddy to make sure you have each completed your monthly breast self exam (BSE).

Here’s the link to learn more about the Buddy Check 25 program.

I know, I know … you aren’t sure what you are doing (nobody ever taught you how to feel your own boobs, right?) Well, Susan G. Komen has a great ‘tutorial’ for BSE on their website. Check it out if you’re unsure what to do.

Now start to think about who you can buddy-up with. Your sister? Your mother? Your best friend or roommate? I think a friend is a perfect choice (I’ve got a list a mile long of women I should buddy up with.) As Charlotte Richard wrote when she was keeping a relationships blog … “A friend is like a good bra….hard to find, supportive, comfortable, always lifts you up, never lets you down or leaves you hanging, and is always close to your heart.”

Buddy up!

cancer, breast cancer, BSE, WEEK TV, NBC

Dyson is committed to helping find a cure for breast cancer. Committed. A lot of companies have gotten on the bandwagon with pink products and services, but this one … well, check this out: $40 from the sale of each DC07 Pink will be donated to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation which currently funds over 100 researchers throughout the world working to prevent and cure breast cancer.

• The Dyson bagless vacuum (dust goes right into an easy-to-empty dust compartment) doesn’t lose suction while it deep cleans — that means nothing is left behind; you get a cleaner carpet when you’re done. Plus, no bags to buy. Bagless.
• With the flick of a switch you can move from hard floors to carpets with a Dyson — no need to change nozzles or adapters. Easy. So easy, in fact, your husband can do it. (Plus, he’ll want to, once he reads the Dyson story if he hasn’t already.)
• Each Dyson has a lifetime HEPA filter (here’s why you need HEPA filtration). It’s so brilliant that it is certified as ‘asthma friendly‘ according to the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America. Oh, and it’s washable — no need to buy new filters over time. No need.
• The Dyson upright’s on-board tool storage means you’ll never be fishing for the attachments again. Never!

We found it really easy to assemble this vacuum. We opened the instruction manual briefly to look at the instructions and found the graphics/visuals simplified the process.

We struggled to find the sticker the manual says is under the dust compartment — to remind us when to rinse our washable filter. Eventually, I called the Dyson helpline (1-866-693-9766; 7 days a week). The nice woman on the phone explained that the sticker was obviously missing because if it was on the unit, it would be obvious. No big deal, I’ll mark the dates on my calendar, the sticker is probably superfluous.

Then my husband vacuumed. What a sweet, sweet thing to watch. I’ve said it before, this man of mine loves pink products and services more than anyone I know. He’s wanted a Dyson for a long time because he’s a technology junkie. When he found out Dyson made a pink model he nearly went out of his mind. The vacuum of his dreams. I admit, he’s the one who usually vacuums. I’ve had so many reasons to limit my lifting between having babies and having breast cancer related surgeries it just sort of happened that vacuuming is his task. Of course, now that I have this upright … things may have to change. We’ve had an Electrolux canister for the last ten years and though it has served us well, it is heavy as all be, and I just couldn’t be the one to lug it around the house. Who wouldn’t want to vacuum with this?

Bottomline? Our house is going to be cleaner. That means our family is going to be healthier. And we’re all going to smile a lot more when we are making our house cleaner and healthier. In this life? That matters. Greatly.

Thank you Dyson — for creating this fantastic vacuum and for giving back to a charity that makes a significant difference in the lives of women. And thank you Tim — for allowing me to show the world how you vacuumed our playroom in these pictures.

You can buy it at Target.com or you can buy it at Amazon.com for $399. OR, check it out on the Dyson website — under the original Dyson upright.

cancer, breast cancer, dyson, vacuum

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!