Discussing Breast Cancer

And you’re the caregiver. And that means so much falls on you. It’s true, you’re going to be the one bearing the brunt of the stress this year. Here’s a few pointers on what you need to do, for the survivor in your life and yourself, to get through the holidays without wishing them over!

What you need to do for her:

Grant her holiday wishes — see what traditions mean the world to her and make them happen. If that means taking her to pick out the perfect tree, then get out that day to do just that. If lights on the trees outside mean warm memories for her, get them out there. Find out what warms her heart the most and do your best to make sure that warmth permeates her soul.

Take on the givens — organize the shopping list, sit with her and some catalogs and get gift ideas then shop (!); buy the stamps, address the cards then get them mailed; pack up the packages to be shipped (and get them shipped); take the kids for a photo with Santa, take the kids shopping … just take the kids!

Limit the visits — be the heavy with a strong lead out the door to keep your visits to other people’s houses short; suggest she go upstairs and rest when your visitors are lingering too long (hopefully they’ll get the hint); use the cancer card to back out of parties you really don’t want to attend and to stop people from dropping in.

Spend quality time with her — make time to be with her, sitting with her in front of a fire, talking with her over a cup of cocoa, watching a holiday movie together — anything so she gets attention and doesn’t feel alone.

Talk to her — converse about the people she loves and point out the positives … the positive moods, the positive reactions to gifts … notice them, share what you notice, and ask her what she notices, too. Ask what is going well, what she wishes was different (knowing she’ll wish she didn’t have cancer, push the envelope to see what else she wishes was different). Talk to her — about holiday music or holiday movies, about people and animals, about anything. Just stay connected to her verbally this holiday season.

What you need to do for yourself:

Schedule personal time — head to the movies with a friend, stop at a bar for a drink, read the paper at Starbucks with a Gingerbread Latte … anything that will take your mind off cancer for at least an hour.

Exercise — it’ll keep you energized to get through your to do list and help you feel at the top of your game.

Get a good night’s sleep — you need to sleep well at night so you can go, go, go during the day. Figure out how many hours you need to function at your best and give yourself a bedtime. Then stick to it.

Eat well — in fact, eat better than you ever have. Think of food as fuel and go for premium unleaded.

Enjoy the perks — the woman you are caring for will appreciate what you are doing to make the holidays special more than you can imagine, the children who are affected will have holiday memories that aren’t tainted by cancer and the God of all things will bless you with peace, love and joy.

cancer, breast cancer, health, wellness, survivor, caregiver