Discussing Breast Cancer

Yesterday’s post is all about surviving the holidays when you’re in the midst of cancer treatment. Today I’m talking about enjoying them when you’ve survived …

Of course I want to tell you to enjoy the moments of your holiday season. I have the feeling that goes without saying, though, doesn’t it? Survivors feel so damn happy to be alive that they typically seize all the moments of their days; the holidays are no exception.

I do want to tell you what’s changed for me, in addition to the whole ‘carpe diem’ attitude that is. I just don’t get hung up on holiday “things” the way I used to. I don’t care if the outfits I wear are brand new (I’m not saying new isn’t nice, I just won’t put such an emphasis on that, ya know?). I don’t care if my Christmas cards aren’t the first received by my friends and family. I don’t care if the gift wrap I choose is coordinated and the tape isn’t perfectly straight. I don’t care if the lights on our house look a little cheesy. As long as I smile every day … and smile while I work … then I’m happy. Fulfilled.

As a survivor, I look at the big picture this time of year. I’m focused on the love and the joy and the peace and the goodwill of the season. Those things are all that matter to me.

Some of you might not be there yet and that’s okay. I understand that you’re in a new place and the holidays are just plain different. Let me share a story with you:

A woman I was friends with a while back was listening to me as I talked about living life as a survivor. I tried to explain that some days I almost forget I had cancer but I never actually forget. It’s always there, no matter what. She nodded and said, “it’s like you had to move into a house on the other side of the fence from the house you’d always lived in — one that looks exactly the same but isn’t the same at all because it’s the cancer house” and she was right. You’re all in my neighborhood now, too, aren’t you … in your new houses, too, looking over the fence at your old houses but knowing you can never live in those again.

We can’t go back. We can’t have the cancer-free thoughts that we had when we lived on the other side of the fence. But we can light our candles and drape the garlands and trim our trees and hang our wreaths and feel joy. A joy we’d never even imagined existed before.

The joy of being alive.

cancer, breast cancer, family, holidays, health, life, survivor