Discussing Breast Cancer

A woman I know that is currently in treatment for breast cancer shared a story with me today that brought up so much pain — even tonight as I type I feel like weeping.

This woman’s young child recently said to her, ‘Mommy, God told me you’re going to be sick a long time.’ To that she explained that she would be sick for a long time, but she would get well eventually, and it wouldn’t feel quite so long looking back.

Then her child said, ‘God said I’m going to miss you.’

Of course, we were both crying as she uttered those words.

Nothing is worse than seeing your child in pain because of your illness. Nothing.

You know, when you have cancer, you can tell your child you aren’t going anywhere, that you’ll be okay, that it will get easier, but the truth is … you don’t know. You don’t know if your life will get cut short. You don’t know if your pain will lessen. All you can do is hope and pray and think positively. But your kids sense that you aren’t sure.

It is hard to talk to kids with real certainty when nothing is certain anymore.

We will never know if God really said these things to this child (He could have, for sure). We will never know if Satan muttered in that poor child’s ear (he could have, too, I suppose). We will never know if the child just said these things to see what kind of reaction the statements would elicit (that could be true, for sure).

When a parent has cancer, a child needs assurance and unfortunately, sometimes assurance isn’t easy to come by.

So … how would you help this child?

The news headline that just made its way across my desk read: No Link Found Between Personality Traits And Cancer Risk. I thought, are you kidding me? Someone really thought our personalities had something to do with it?

Well, apparently in 1996, Eveline Bleiker, Ph.D., of The Netherlands Cancer Institute (and colleagues) found a weak association between the development of breast cancer and “antiemotionality” — a lack of emotional behavior or trust in one’s own feelings.

They key word there was weak — there was a weak link. But now that study has been debunked. “The researchers did not find any personality trait or personality profile that was associated with increased breast cancer risk.” Of course they didn’t. Come on people.

It’s amazing to me that they put money and effort into that one.

Alright, I’ll try to be objective. Maybe it would be prudent to discover if there was indeed an association between a certain personality trait and breast cancer incidence. But really, what would they do with that information? Say to women, ‘hey, you seem a little unemotional, you better watch out, you might get breast cancer?’ Right … that would happen. (Dripping with sarcasm, of course.) Or maybe, ‘change — your life depends upon it.’ Please. There are so many other things that could have been researched with that money!

I think we really need to remember something — news headlines are just that … headlines. You have to read the whole story to understand what they are talking about.

And, this whole story is pretty clear: your personality had nothing to do with the fact that you got breast cancer.

breast cancer, cancer, health, wellness, health and wellness, personality

When I was diagnosed with DCIS in 2003 I was treated quite typically with surgery and radiation. To be specific, seven weeks of radiation therapy, seven long weeks (technically just shy of seven).

Each weekday I headed up to the clinic at Yale and laid on the table for a five minute (or so) blast to my chest. By the end, I felt like I’d really been through something huge — and that was reassuring to some degree. It would take something huge (like a long period of time) to tackle something huge (like cancer). Since I skirted by without chemotherapy (which would really have me feeling I’d earned my survivor status), at least I had those seven weeks of treatment to make me feel I was really fighting.

Hard to imagine how I would have felt if it were only one week. However, electronic brachytherapy for the treatment of early stage breast cancer — using a small electronic, low-energy X-ray source that delivers controlled radiation treatment directly to the targeted area — I’m not too sure how I would have felt about that. Would one week have been enough time to allow me to feel I fought a good fight in my battle with breast cancer?

There are a few system for this type of radiation. One implants a small, balloon-like device, at the targeted area then twice a day for five days, the balloon is expanded and a miniature X-ray tube is inserted. Another uses several catheters (like 10-20). Here, read more about the technologies here or keep reading to get to the question I want to pose to you today.

Accelerated partial breast irradiation. What do you think? Worth limiting the duration of your treatment if you’re diagnosed at an early stage? Or, limiting the way you perceive your role in the fight?

breast cancer, cancer, DCIS, radiation, brachytherapy, health, wellness, health and wellness, survivor

Survivor Heather Jose interviewed me recently and that interview is being featured on her blog today. Check it out!

Survivor Olivia Newton John and the band All 4 One performed a “duet” at a breast cancer fundraiser that touches the soul and warms the heart. Enjoy!

See more breast cancer related video clips by clicking here.

All-4-One, breast cancer, cancer, health, health and wellness, Olivia Newton John, survivor, wellness

“Every step I take brings me closer to the realization of my dreams.”

This is a passage out of a new self-help type book by motivational speaker Judi Moreo (on the right), called You Are More Than Enough Achievement Journal. I believe journaling is a smart, healthy way to process your healing journey. It’s a way to express your thoughts and feelings and hopes and wishes and prayers and fears … without having to voice them to the world. It’s almost as important as prayer in the life of a survivor … but heck, who am I to preach about the benefits of journaling! Instead, allow me to introduce you to author Judi Moreo herself in this guest post she wrote for me to share:

Life is happening so fast, there’s no time for stillness or reflection. Many of us have forgotten how to listen to the still, small voice inside of us. Writing in a journal is taking time for yourself. You are giving yourself permission to express your feelings and access your intuition. Writing a journal is a discipline…the discipline of taking care of your inner self. Discipline is the key to all success!

Journaling is how we keep track of the steps.

Thank you Judi … wasn’t that great? (Here’s another link to Judi’s site, this one specifically to her blog — there’s great reading material there!)

When I first read the excerpt that I started this post with, “Every step I take brings me closer to the realization of my dreams,” I thought … what are my dreams … how has being a survivor changed them … what steps do I need to take to get closer to them …

I realize now that my dreams are much simpler than they used to be. I don’t need to travel the world, I want to experience new places with my family wherever we all wind up. I don’t need a grand house on a hill, I want a home where we can all live happily together. I don’t need fame and fortune, I want to be truly known by the people I’m blessed to have in my life.

The first step for me has been to spend more time with people, talking, traveling, playing … living life, together.

Now it’s your turn … what are your dreams? Have they changed? What steps are you taking to realize them? Are you journaling?

cancer, breast cancer, journaling, prayer, Judi Moreo, motivation, healing, health, wellness, health and wellness, survivor, dreams

How does a woman without her two main abdominal muscles muster on the ski slopes? I’ll tell you in a minute. First, here’s some background:

My husband and I used to ski quite a bit. We belonged to a ski club called The Ski Bears of Connecticut (a club for mostly single people [or couples without children] who were passionate about both skiing and, ahem, socializing) — we went on several fantastic ski trips a year until I got pregnant with our first. Three kids and two breast cancer diagnoses later … I’m a completely reconstructed woman and I doubted I had it in me to take on a mountain.

However, we’d always wanted to get our kids out there on the slopes. We wanted them to learn the sport while they were still close to the ground. We’d always envied and admired people that had been skiing since childhood and saw those kids skiing around us as fearless wonders.

Our oldest is eight — it was time to act before we missed out window with him. We chose the day. We chose the mountain. We picked up rentals (having sold our own equipment years ago b/c it was getting outdated). The only question was … could I still ski? I tried ice skating earlier this winter and the only trouble I really had was getting up off the ice once I went down. But my will to ski was strong — and at least I had the mountain and my poles by my side to assist me if I fell.

At 10:00 am we brought the boys to ski school. Shortly thereafter, we hit the slopes with our daughter. We traversed to the lift. We waited in line. It was their turn first. I got on the chair behind them. So far, everything was going smoothly. As I headed up the mountain I started to wonder. If I could no longer get up off the couch without help, how would I compensate getting off a ski lift? I lifted the bar. I lifted the tips of my skiis. I held my poles in one hand and pushed off the side of the chair with my free hand and I was off.

I was thrilled. I was comfortable. I was confident. I was able to ski.

The entire time the boys were in ski school, I skied alongside my husband/daughter team (she was between his legs the whole time so they really were a single skiing unit for the day). When the boys’ lesson was over, we grabbed a quick lunch, then headed out. My daughter was still skiing with my husband, the designated partner for her because he was clearly the strongest, most able to keep her safe. My oldest was fairly proficient at the sport after just one lesson, needing a little help when he fell until he learned how to get himself up, but otherwise skiing strong for his first time out. My middle son … well, he needed his momma.

At six years old, my middle son had the desire to ski on the bigger slope, but a fear of falling that I understood pretty well. He hadn’t yet achieved the ability to stop or turn — he really needed more time on the bunny hill but we wanted him to stay with us.

So there I was, a woman with a belly made of mesh, snowplowing beside him, giving him the handle end of my ski poles to hold, escorting him down the mountain time and time again. He loved it.

Not only could I ski … but I could ski with my kids.

What’s your biggest feat post-TRAM flap?

breast cancer, cancer, children, health, health and wellness, ice skating, kids, skating, Ski Bears, skiing, TRAM flap, wellness

Atlanta’s Shades of Pink Choir — a choir comprised of survivors celebrating survival through song — has performed for over 150,000 people in over 30 venues in the United States since 2004. Here’s a video clip that makes me weep:

Music is such a powerful weapon — moving us to tears, to action, to triumph. What a great way to inspire and support. I felt lovingly cradled by the voices of these women and I’m not even in treatment at the moment. If I could, I’d hug every single one of them. Every single one. I wish I could see them perform.

Now tell the truth: how many tears dripped onto your keyboard while you listened and watched?

See more breast cancer related video clips by clicking here.

Atlanta, breast cancer, cancer, choir, health, health and wellness, shades of pink, survivors, wellness

Whether or not a survivor even questions the presence of her ovaries in her body depends on the results of her pathology and the answer to one specific question: is her cancer estrogen receptive?

If she is, and the cancer in her body ‘feeds’ on estrogen, there are treatment options to consider that will either (1) suppress her estrogen production with pharmaceuticals (Tamoxifen tablets) (2) chemically stop her estrogen production (Zolodex shots) (3) remove her estrogen production (Oopherectomy).

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There are just a few things I want to share with you:

(1) I revisited and redid the categories for this site. I think you’ll easily find posts you’re looking for in each category. If you are just joining now, and you want to know my story (at least what I’ve told to date) — head to survivor stories — but scroll to the last one since the list starts with the most recent post.

(2) The spam filter here at 451 Press is blocking everything these days. On any given day I have approximately 100 comments to sift through and if I fall behind that numbers heads up to 1,000. That’s when I give up. That means real bona fide comments have fallen through the cracks. If that’s happened to yours, I’m so, so sorry. If you are trying (or have tried) to post a comment and it didn’t make it through, please let me know and I’ll search for your words!

(3) I am just now figuring out that I have an email address here at 451 press — you can always send me an email or feedback at karen dot lynch at 451press dot net.

Welcome to the first of many video clips I’m going to share with you all throughout 2008. This one was created by Natasha last October and she posted it on You Tube (nattyemore). I thought I’d share it with you all today:

Don’t you love this video? I’ve never put the Twisted Sister song We’re Not Gonna Take It with the fight for breast cancer before but what a great choice for survivors — the song itself is so empowering. I also got choked up when the mother held her baby close — even a sims2 character can bring tears to my eyes, a cartoon/animated survivor. How powerful!

So … what do you think? Did you like it?

(FYI, I got the idea to post a video clip each weekend from Heather Scoville over at Watching VH1. Thanks, Heather. Meanwhile, if you have a video or make a video and you want to see it showcased here, please send it to my attention at karenmlynch at gmail dot com!)

cancer, breast cancer, sims2, You Tube, health, wellness, survivor, Twisted Sister, We’re Not Gonna Take It

10. More than 1.2 million people will be diagnosed with breast cancer each year worldwide (according to the World Health Organization). This site will empower those 1.2 million people.

9. Each year, 500,000 people will die from breast cancer (also according to the WHO). This site will offer support to those facing death or the death of a loved one.

8. 12.28% of women born today will be diagnosed with breast cancer at some point in their lifetime. This number can also be expressed as 1 in 8 women. This site will be a place of solace for the women who find themselves on the wrong side of those statistics.

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I’m still processing “the plan” for this site so I thank you for sticking with me the last few days.

I do have a favor to ask … can you share with me the reasons why do you visit this site? I’ve asked a question of this nature in the past, but with thousands of visitors each month I still don’t have a feel for the value I’m providing. I need that information so I can help discern the direction I need to take this.

So, if you have a minute …

Remember when I posted a few days ago about the fact that I’d yet to post my New Year’s Resolutions? I was stagnant. I went through all the usuals related to health and wellness — and a few related to personal growth and my priorities. Nothing was resonating.

Until today. Sometimes things happen that force your hand, or move you down a certain path, whether you want to go there or not. Sometimes decisions aren’t made … they just happen. That’s God’s will, don’t you think?

As of today, my resolution for 2008 is to take my writing career where God wants it to go — even if I don’t know where that is. See, I know that God gifted me the ability to write. What I don’t know is how He wants me to be using my gift. So I resolve to figure it out. I sound so Christian when I quote the bible, but from Jeremiah 29:11 … “I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. “ So, I resolve that in 2008 I will write in accordance with His plan for me. And I’ll trust that whatever that is, it is what is best for me. That’s life as a Christian woman for ya!

So … I’m still processing some of the events taking place in my professional life and I will keep you posted on where I’m going with all this!

Happy New Year!

I went away for a few days (literally) — traveling without my spouse but with my three kids over the holidays was quite an experience, let me tell you. I’ll make sure I post later today when I’ve had more coffee and/or adjust to the weird jet lag I have going on.

But I wanted to say first and foremost … Happy New Year to all of you who faithfully stop by to discuss breast cancer and to those joining the conversation for the first time today.

I’ll need to make some resolutions for my first ‘real’ post in 2008. Have any resolutions of your own to share with me while I consider mine?

KL