Discussing Breast Cancer

On today’s show, my co-host and I interviewed Peter Flierl, the husband of a woman who celebrated 25 years of survivorship just yesterday!

Peter is also a writer and a motivational speaker and he’s got serious expertise on the concept of care-giving. He’s written a book called, “Prayer, Laughter, and Broccoli” and he was on the program to talk about the contents of that book — a book that is a downright survival guide for husbands when their wife is diagnosed with breast cancer.

Peter was a fantastic guest — he touched on some great points for husbands to internalize, like ‘Say Yes’ to help, ‘Be Verbal’ with words of love and support for your wife and ‘Help with the Kids.’ But my favorite part of the interview, though, was when Peter shared with us how deeply meaningful and intimate his sexual encounters with his wife were after her treatment — what a new perspective for me as a woman and a wife. I loved hearing his take on this particular issue because, well, it’s beautiful.

You’ve got to give this show a listen. I’ve put an Inspire! icon on the right-hand sidebar of this page under ‘Blogging Flair’ and you can click to listen right from my site here.

If you’re lost, read about my entry into blog talk radio here.

cancer, breast cancer, wellness, husbands, inspiration, caregivers, blog talk radio

Each year on Election Day, my kids’ elementary school PTA has a skating party at a local ice rink. Year after year we go; my kids, my dad and myself. My dad loves skating. And I’ve loved watching my dad skate with my boys. He’s been amazing, each year, holding their hands, trying to teach them how to balance and move forward without wiping out. I’ve not even had to get on the ice; he’s had it all under control.

But this year my dad didn’t want to skate – I’m not sure if the cold he’s had is still bothering him or if he felt weak in the knees – frankly, I don’t want to think too much about his reasons why (he’s not getting any younger, God bless him). He’d come, and he’d bring my niece along as well, but he wasn’t skating this year.

You know that meant one thing was for sure: I was going to have to get out there on the ice with my boys, relocated abdominal muscles and all thanks to that TRAM flap. They were just too young and inexperienced to get out there on their own. They needed their mommy.

Oh, I was so nervous. I hadn’t skated since I was a kid. I desperately wanted to help my boys but I wasn’t sure I’d be much good. But I was out there with them, lap after lap, holding their hands and supporting their arms and coaching them each glide of the way.

Once my son took me down with him. He fell gracefully and I fell with a boom right on my face (I kept my chin up; my knees took the brunt of the fall). Another time one of his classmates took me down after sliding right into the back of my knees – that boom was right on my ass. My spine is still hurting from that one.

Both times I went down I needed help getting up. Without those abdominal muscles, man, certain activities are much more challenging than you can imagine. It takes a whole lot of reprogramming to get my side muscles to compensate for their missing counterparts.

But I did it and man, I just felt so … alive. And so much like a mother. The kind of mother I want to be. Helping my kids achieve their milestones. Coaching them through difficult times. Holding their hands when they are uncertain. Seeing them conquer their fears.

At the end of our time on the ice, we all went for pizza. My dad looked at me at one point and said, “You’re a good skater, you know? You did good today.”

I know he was thinking of my physical accomplishment. But for me, it was about a whole lot more than that.

Yeah, I did good today.

cancer, breast cancer, ice skating

You might be thinking … what does Bon Jovi have to do with breast cancer? The answer is: EVERYTHING, if you are me.

I fell in love with Jon Bon Jovi in the eighties, when he was still an up and coming rock star. His hair, his clothes … I was all about him. The boys I fraternized with knew they were second to him (sad, but true). Somehow I managed to find ones to date that supported my habit. Yes, I’ve been blessed.

(more…)

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, gifts started pouring into my home. I received baskets filled with lotions and creams and candy and cookies. I received homemade goodies and handmade trinkets. And I received flowers. Lots of flowers. MAN did I get flowers. Seems everyone wanted me to know they were thinking of me and nobody realized that I wondered if people thought I was dying.

When I was diagnosed the second time, I received more flowers. Since I was hospitalized for days after my mastectomy/reconstruction, I received some bouquets while I was there. Then I received some when I arrived home.

Six months later, I had that hysterectomy/oopherctomy and guess what? MORE FLOWERS.

Seems everyone wanted me to be surrounded by flowers when I was in the midst of such physical hell. When they died, then I had to deal with the mess they left behind (well, the people taking care of me dealt with the mess, but that’s not the point).

Fast forward to now. Let me tell you, I haven’t received flowers in forever. Not that I’m hinting to ya’ll to step up and order me some flowers (I know, you don’t have my address, or you would, right?). No, I’m just making a point.

Why do we wait until there’s a tragedy to surround the people we love with flowers? Why don’t we think to send them flowers when things are going great to celebrate that?

Send someone flowers, today. Send them to someone who is healthy. But order through ProFlowers and send something from their Pink Ribbon Collection and 10% of the sales price will go to Susan G. Komen for the Cure.

Aren’t they beautiful?

And the flowers … they’re beautiful, too.